You would think, and society does, that the people who are suffering the most are the people who are at the lowest weights, the people who look the sickest. The people who have their every skipped meal etched outwardly on every protruding bone of their body.
Actually, it’s not. It’s the people in-between. The people who have gained the weight, but have still lost their minds. Because, with nutrition comes feelings. With food comes a tidal wave of emotions that have been blocked out, numbed inside a cage of bones for so long that, when they’re finally let out, after all this time, they knock you off of your feet and onto your face.
Society sees this, and tells you that you’re asking for attention. That you look fine, so you must be fine. That you need to just give it up and move on.
And I just want to stop and say no. No. I believe you. I believe that you hurt, I believe that feeling is the worst, because I’m in this with you. Don’t let people who don’t understand tell you how sick you are or how bad you feel. You and I both know that eating disorders, at their core, are not about weight. How sick a person is cannot be determined by their appearance.
I believe you.
this is beautiful.
This straight-up brought tears. Some days in recovery I convince myself I’m okay because I’m “way too fat to have an eating disorder.” But I’m not. The post is right. I gained the weight but I’ve lost my mind.